Nabokov, translated for academia

Nabokov: I write for my pleasure, but publish for money.
Academia: I write for your pleasure, but pay money to publish.

More specifically…

Undergrad: I don’t know how to write, but please let me publish something for med school.
Grad student: I write my first paper draft for pleasure, but my thesis for some antiquated notion of scholarship.
Postdoc: I write "in press" with pleasure, but "in prep" for faculty applications.

Editor: You write for my pleasure, but these proofs gonna cost you.

SciTwitter: I write preprints for retweets, but tweet cats/Trump for followers.

Junior PI: I write mostly out of a self-imposed sense of obligation, but publish to try and get over my imposter syndrome.
Mid-career PI: I say no to book chapters (finally (mostly)), but publish to see if anyone is still interested.
Senior PI: I write to explain why my life’s work is under-appreciated, but give dinner talks for money.